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Addressing Election Opportunities

Bloody spam mail. How did it get past my filters?

Date: January 2008
To: ZenTiger at NZ Conservative
From: David (Daoud) Khan, Durand Enterprises.
Re: NZ Free Democratic Elections

Sir

It is with pleasure I am writing to offer you a one time unique business service. Our service is of the highest value and offers the maximum convenience to your valuable person and enables you to engage in the free and democratic elections rumoured to be held later this year in New Zealand.

Working as I am for Durand Enterprises, we have a long product line that will surely border on being described as perfect for your political ambitions. I am pleased to be coming right to the point and offering you one of many quality name and address combinations to place on any website, banner or placards of your choosing as you exercise your democratic right to comment on Government Policy.

You may wish to avail yourself to this offer just in time for Easter to go into our special draw for the Durand Political Party Kit, complete with 500 registered members, all certified students with loans!** This premium prize potentially gives you access to millions of dollars in tax payer funds.

Easter is a period our senior researcher, Mr Pashtun predicts will be of great cultural and religious significance, being the occasion where Clark is crucified in the polls 3 days prior to Maharey arising as Lord Vice-Chancellor of Massey.

Many people will also remember this as the occasion 12 new Government BMWs are confiscated and turned to scrap metal under the new transport laws that will be rushed through on February 29th. We predict several Ministers of the crown will be caught speeding to the first EFB court case: Farrar vs Goliath on the matter of $34.50 of Google Ad-Sense Revenue that was not declared.

But wait, good sir, there is more. By ordering now, we can also provide you a charming set of 6 durable steak knives - perfect for a long night.

This high value service is only US$100 payable by any major credit card.

Regards in the highest
David (Dauod) Khan
Durand Enterprises



**Great also for protests and other political agitation. Warning: Improper use may accidentally result in rise of communist dictatorship, or early assassination

Comments

  1. As good as this idea is, Daoud of course had to resign for "health reasons".

    Never trust a communist?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Leave the Beemers alone, so what if those riding in them are leftist parasites. Sell them if you must, but don't crush them, yet. According to the dog & lemon guide i believe they are good for the warranty period, you're on your own after that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Exactly MK. Some mad people think to stop boy racers or drivers caught over the limit, the car should be scrapped.

    That is just wrong on several levels.

    If this idea goes any further, you can be sure there will be more posts about this to explain my reasoning.

    ReplyDelete
  4. more posts! more posts!






    (please--it's an interesting subject)

    ReplyDelete

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