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Political Bribes

A cartel of charities have been accused of accepting money from an unknown political party. Winston Peters was reported to be livid that his party had been described as "unknown" but he really did need to gain a few more percentage points in the polls to progress to "relatively unknown".

It was not known how long this cartel had been extracting money from NZ First, and what pressure they had placed on Winston to think of his fellow man and open his wallet.

One thing was clear however - the Cullen Charity (also known as IRD) had missed out and was reportedly fuming that they would not have the revenue to invest in health. Dr Michael Cullen, Minister of Finance (and registered as a charitable trust) explained that every dollar directed away from Inland Revenue represented another person dying in Accident and Emergency. Things were reportedly so serious, they were thinking of reducing the waiting list cutoff from 6 months to 5 months in order to improve outcomes (statistical outcomes).

Winston's inability to repay tax payers money had also impacted on retiring MPS. "Our European jaunt has been severely undermined" confessed Marget Wilson, Speaker of the House. "We are looking at putting our support staff up in three star hotels now, and we'll probably have to share a government limousine to the airport. It's just tough"

The only people not complaining was the tax payer. Joe Taxpayer was reportedly not worried Winston had used his money to payoff the Charity Cartel. Times have been so hard, that they now rely on Meals on Wheels for a decent dinner. "The money has ultimately gone to the right people. I might pay $15,000 a year in taxes, but since Winston has paid of the charities, I now get a small slice of fruit cake with my roast beef and mash."

"Let them eat cake" said Winston.

Related Link: Hush Money

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